January 14, 2008 E.S.P.

January 14, 2008

E.S.P.

How many of you have lost a loved pet and found that you can occasionally “hear” them, sense their presence, or feel them? This has become a topic of discussion on one of my online groomer groups and while some may think I’m crazy, I have had those same things happen to me after losing a dear pet.
For the record, I want you all to know that “I” do not think you are crazy for having these feelings. Some people seem to be more “in tune” with psychic feelings than others are. While I’m far from being psychic, I have had over my lifetime sensations, or visions that can’t be explained by any other means. For instance, when I was 14 years old, I had a horse. I raised him from a 3 month old colt to an obnoxious 2 yr. old gelding that was a holy terror, but that’s another long story. (Note to those wanting horses, do NOT buy a baby horse thinking you can raise it if you have NO experience. They are not puppies. They require someone with handling experience not a novice!)
One day while riding home on the school bus as I was daydreaming out the window I had a “vision” of my horse running in circles in the field we were passing by that was next to our house. I could “see” him running like the wind! As the bus stopped at my house, I shook off that vision and went inside only to hear my mom tell me, “your horse got out today, he was just running circles in that field, you should have seen him! But your dad got him back in his pasture”.
I can’t explain how I envisioned that before knowing anything about it.
Then there was the time a few weeks after I lost my cat “Fuzz”. He died unexpectedly at the vet before they received any of his blood work back. I was in shock. I couldn’t stand to be “catless” in my house. It just wasn’t the same. I adopted another cat from a rescue nearby to help me with my feelings of loss. One night I felt a cat walking on my bed. I could feel the cat walking up my body and could feel the pressure of weight lying against my side. I reached down thinking it was my new cat Dixie, but there was nothing there. I decided I must have been dreaming because Dixie was in my son’s room lying with him and my doors were closed. I closed my eyes and tried to go back to sleep but then I felt it again. This time I opened my eyes and I could see the indentations in the covers as the “feet” walked up my body. Suddenly I sat up, I woke up my husband and told him, “Oh, Tim, Fuzz has come back!” He was not happy being woke up, and decided I was hallucinating, but I was adamant. It’s Fuzz! I smiled and lay down content to feel the weight of Fuzz lying against me to say goodbye. I wasn’t able to say goodbye to him when I rushed him to the vet. I never expected him to die in the night either while nobody was around. I have felt Fuzz maybe once or twice since then. But I feel he came back to say goodbye to me, and went on. For me, it was comforting to be able to say goodbye to him and feel him again.
Many people have expressed to me that once their pet has passed away they can still hear them, or sense that they are there. They talk to them and eventually it stops and I truly feel that it’s to help us with our grieving and know that they have gone on to a better place but didn’t want to go without saying goodbye and taking care of our feelings of unfinished business.
There are so many times that I wish I have those feelings about some other pets that I’ve lost. I so want to feel the cold wet nose poke my hand for a pet one more time. I want to hear the sighs, feel the bodies brush against me one last time. But it hasn’t happened. I don’t know if it’s because those pets didn’t pass away without me being mentally ready for it. Those deaths were expected. Perhaps that’s why I haven’t felt them around me. It doesn’t make me miss them any less. I still long for them and wish they were here. Maybe it’s God sending back my pets that were such a shock to lose to help me deal with the loss. That’s what I choose to believe anyway. I’ve had dreams about people that I’ve lost and loved that have come to me in dreams and left me with the feelings of being hugged and feeling the weight and pressure of arms around me. That comforted me.
Why I have these feelings is a mystery to me. I prefer to think of it as a blessing that I am able to feel this, and not be afraid of it. I know there are many others who have similar and perhaps more intense feelings and connections with those that they have lost. They are blessed.
If you’ve never had these feelings, it’s okay too. Know that your pets loved you deeply and they will always be in your heart. Love doesn’t stop when someone dies. You will always feel love for someone or a beloved pet. It may get easier as the years wear on to deal with the pain of loss, but love never dies. It’s right there in your heart where it began.