July 11, 2007 In Loving Memory of "Bob"

July 11, 2007

In Loving Memory of “Bob”

We had a death in the family this morning. Bob the goldfish died. I know what you are thinking, it was just a goldfish. Actually, he was a .28¢ goldfish from Wal-Mart to be exact. Nevertheless, he was a pet, and member of the family. He even had his own Christmas stocking!
Most people would simply flush the fish down the toilet, however in this family; fish go out with a little more pomp and circumstance. They get a full-blown pet funeral. Complete with tiny little box, and buried in the backyard, grave marked with a flower.
A few years ago, we lost “Ben” the Betta. I tried to convince my son to flush him, but he indignantly informed me that “Mom! God doesn’t live in the toilet!” Now you know why they get a funeral here.
Our pets aren’t the only ones that we do funerals for, if my kids find any dead creature, a dead bird, a baby bird that fell out of the nest or even butterflies, we have to have the ritual, get a box so the kids can bury it in the backyard. Once they found a dead hummingbird, it was so beautiful and to see it close up was amazing. I was fresh out of check boxes, (those work great for coffins) but I did happen to have a little box from McDonalds, actually it held Chicken McNuggets, so the bird was buried in a Chicken McNugget carton, Kleenex lined, of course.
I know this whole story sounds funny and silly, but truly, I’m glad my kids have hearts so big. At least I know they have empathy for animals of all sorts, with the exception of bugs, or wasps at least. A wasp stung my oldest son several years ago, and he has never forgotten it. We were at a store in Carmel once, and when I went to put the packages in the back of my van, they noticed a wasp. I swatted it and knocked it to the ground, sure that I had saved them from the attack of the killer wasp, but that wasn’t good enough. My son jumps up and down on the poor thing yelling, “DIE! DIE! DIE!”
Okay, maybe they aren’t THAT empathetic.
However, I do believe it’s important for children to understand death and dying, and funerals, at least for pets. They’ve yet to attend a human funeral, burying pets is traumatic enough. When your kids lose a pet, no matter how insignificant it may seem to you, have a heart, and let them grieve for it in their own way. Have a funeral for it if you can, and let them help prepare a final resting place. I’m reminded of the funeral scene in the movie “Cheaper by the dozen” when “Beans” the frog dies. Steve Martin gave a eulogy for him, “Beans was a good frog, he hipped and he hopped” . . . That still cracks me up! Let them work through their feelings; they may talk about it for a long time. Mine still talk about losing our pets from time to time. I think it makes them feel better to talk about them and I tell them how much I miss them too. It’s only natural.
While I don’t think Maus funeral home is in any danger of going out of business due to my sons’ pet “mortuary” service, maybe a pet cemetery isn’t a bad idea. I could see a line of children coming with their deceased pocket pets, and my kids making a coffin for them and providing a service. Guess I had better stock up on those disposable plastic containers for makeshift coffins; after all, God doesn’t live in the toilet.